


The Care and Keeping of Your Stray Zombie Child

by RainingStars



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: M/M, Spoilers for Episode 29, among other things, but really mild, cecil and carlos babysit, emotional services, like not even spicy, subway system, supernatural occurences, think of it as a free parenting trial, where your bonus gift is a stray zombie child who stares blankly at walls
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-16
Updated: 2013-08-16
Packaged: 2017-12-23 16:56:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/928900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RainingStars/pseuds/RainingStars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Cecil, you do realize we have no experience with children, much less <em>zombie</em> children.”</p><p>In which one of the zombie messenger children follows Cecil home from the studio, and both he and Carlos are presented with the eventful task of temporary parenting. If only the thing had come with a manual...</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Care and Keeping of Your Stray Zombie Child

**Author's Note:**

> The zombie children spoke to me on a creative level. Or maybe it was just the voices. Either way, I thought it would be fun to turn Cecil and Carlos into babysitters, so here we go.
> 
> *Edits: just some minor clean up of grammar. It's all clear now!*

_"Good night, Night Vale, good night."_

With that, the play off music began, the “On Air” sign went dark, and Cecil raised his arms above his head in a long stretch.

Today had been an emotional day. Not only because of the new nameless emotional service that delivered him a wide range of emotions, but also because of the commotion caused by the new mysterious subway system. What a mysterious system indeed. Cecil had been on it only half an hour ago, yet he still felt the universal enlightening sensation that had overwhelmed him. If only he could go on just once more, to find out what other questions could possibly be answered, what other truths he could uncover…alas the subway had been closed for maintenance.

Plus Carlos, having heard Cecil share his experience on the radio, had called and told Cecil not to use the subway any more, due to the fact he might not return. Cecil didn’t want to make Carlos angry so he begrudgingly agreed.

After checking his equipment, Cecil hissed and hollered at Station Management’s door to signal he was leaving. After a series of rattling and banging noises, Cecil assumed he was free to go.

Since it was a nice night and his car had vanished (it tended to do that, stupid Volvo), Cecil decided to walk home. As he traveled, he made sure not to look at the dog park, and to keep a careful eye on the remains of the library, should any librarian who had somehow survived the fire (they all were fireproof so it was assumed they all had) come out and attack, or worse yet, make him take out a book.

His mind began to wander back to his time on the subway. So many colors, so many lights…he hadn’t told anyone, but he thinks he may have even heard the spirit of the deceased Apache Tracker telling him the meaning of life, a fact one could only learn after entering the afterlife through great sacrifice. Cecil however didn’t like the Apache Tracker, and therefore ignored him. God, how fascinating it had all been. How aged he felt, though it had only been mentally and not physically. How fortunate he was to have come back from it all alive and still sane. It was a shame Intern Dylan hadn’t. Cecil felt as though he and the boy were now equals traveling through this journey, bearing knowledge everyone might wish to learn but none could ever fathom or understand. He had felt spiritual, awestruck, and…vaguely as though someone was watching him the entire time.

Wait, no, that was now.

Cecil stopped walking and felt a small tingle rise up from the base of his spine. Was someone there? Had they been there the entire time, or had they noticed his pensive figure traveling down the lone road and decided to follow him, should a shred of his knowledge be transposed to their own minds. Or maybe they wished to harm him, mug him, use him as the crowning plate at their barbecue because of their newly developed cannibalistic nature. He turned around.

Nothing.

Wait.

Nope, nothing.

It was probably just an emotion sent to him from the emotional service. Man, those guys were good. He’d definitely have to endorse them again next show…

Cecil chuckled, turned around and was greeted by the sunken in eyes and fair hair of a zombie child. So something _had_ been following him. He recognized the child as the one who City Council had sent to relay their denial of being involved with the construction of the new subway system. The Child had stood in the studio staring blankly at nothing before wandering off.

“Oh, hey…little guy,” Cecil greeted awkwardly. The child gave him the creeps so he didn’t know how to go about communicating with him. Especially since he did nothing but stare blankly at whatever direction he was facing. “Thanks for delivering that message today. Shame it was tattooed on your bottom lip, but hey I’m sure if you go outside and shout for that new laser removal being offered at the hospital, one with come out of the sky and hit you. You may even get transferred to another dimsension!”

The child stared blankly.

“Well, um, nice talking with you?” Cecil began to slowly make his retreat. Wherever that kid was from, they obviously didn’t teach basic conversational skills.

The night air was getting nippy, so Cecil zipped up his fleece jacket as he made the turn onto the next street. Although it was August, still technically summer, the nights had been cold enough for Carlos and him to close the windows in their house and turn up the thermostat a few notches. Maybe tonight, if it got cold enough, they could make a little fire and have a nice evening in. Cecil sighed. That would be absolutely lovely. Carlos could tell him about the chemical reaction that created fire, the one that had absolutely no effect in Night Vale seeing as an offering had to be placed in the fireplace in order for it to light. Ah, how romantic…

Cecil’s peripheral vision caught a glimpse of a shape just in time for him to snap out of his daze and stop before walking into the zombie child.

Cecil gave a small grunt of surprise. “I nearly ran into you, kid! Didn’t your…whatever raised you tell you it’s rude to step in front of people while they’re walking?”

Blank stare.

“Right. Well, why don’t you go home to whatever plane of existence you’re from.” Cecil wasn’t sure where the little hell spawn would reside.

Blank stare.

Cecil sighed and stepped around the child. Thank goodness he was almost home. He was pretty chilly, and he was starting to hear footsteps shuffling in time with his own that were…

Good Lord was the kid still following him?

He turned around again and, sure enough, the zombie child was only a few inches away from him. His face was expressionless, but he seemed to be shivering. Could zombie children get cold?

With a small bit of pity welling inside, Cecil took off his jacket and put it around the Child’s shoulder. This time he got a tiny grunt in response.

“Well, I guess I can’t just leave you here. Strange things happen at night. Plus, you have my Jacket, and Carlos bought that for me so I’d like it back.” After checking the child’s blank face, he took his hand and guided him the rest of the way home.

Luckily Carlos was near the front door when Cecil arrived, so he didn’t have to wait to spring the news of their surprise guest. That didn’t mean Carlos was any less surprised.

The scientist stared at the new guest for a moment before giving Cecil a look that said: _you better have a good excuse._

“So ah, I found a stray child.” Cecil informed his partner casually. If he played it off as no big deal, maybe it would be, in fact, no big deal.

“I can see that. Why did you bring it to our house exactly?” Carlos obviously didn’t get how not big of a deal this was.

“Carlos, it's not polite to call him an 'it'. He was following me, and I didn’t bring my un-dead repellent. Plus he was shivering. I couldn’t leave him out in the cold.”

Carlos (ignoring the etiquette lesson) walked over and crouched down so he was eye-level with their guest. The child gave him a very innocent blank stare. It was creepy to say the least. He tried to look at Cecil but found he had taken great interest in the wallpaper.  
“Cecil, you do realize we have no experience with children, much less _zombie_ children.”

“Oh, that’s a minor detail. I’m sure if we just keep an eye on him at all times it’ll be fine!” Carlos didn’t look convinced. “Just one night, I promise. In the morning we’ll take him to the dog park and he can find his way back to wherever he’s from. How hard can it be?”

Carlos sighed. He loved Cecil, but sometimes his decisions could be rash. He supposed it was admirable that Cecil took in the child even though it made him uncomfortable. As long as it didn’t do anything, he supposed one night couldn’t hurt. It’d just have to stay in the guest closet downstairs.

“Fine, one night. But next time at least call me to let me know you’re bringing in a stray…whatever. I don’t know whether to feed it or not.”

The child grunted at the word “feed". The two men shared a surprised look. The child then began to shuffle to the kitchen, and they trailed behind him. Carlos went to the pantry as Cecil guided their undead guest to the table, and pulled out a box of crackers. He took out a sleeve, opened it up and placed it in front of the child.

Blank stare.

“Here, I’ll feed him.” Cecil said as he took out a cracker and held it in front of the child’s face. He and Carlos stared intently at the cracker, their guest continuing to stare intently at the wall. However, his eyes did widen a bit, as did the eyes of the other two men at the sight of even the slightest reaction. The suspense was unlike any that Cecil or Carlos had experienced before.

They were so caught up in it that they almost didn’t notice the cracker vanishing.

“Hey, I think he took it!” Cecil exclaimed in amazement. Carlos grinned and shook his head in disbelief, giving the child a small pat on the back.

He stared blankly ahead and began rising towards the ceiling.

Well that was new.

Up the child went until he seemed to pass through the ceiling and vanish. The two men stared at the spot he had been sat, confused and frankly disturbed.

“What—”

“I’m sure it’ll be back in a minute or two.”

And Cecil would’ve been absolutely right if by minute he had meant half an hour. But, alas, he hadn’t, and the child was nowhere to be found.

“Keep an eye on it, huh?”

“Well how was I supposed to know he did that?” Cecil asked, crossing his arms defensively.

Carlos held the bridge of his nose between his index finger and thumb as he let out a groan. “Ugh. At least it’s gone. It’s not our responsibility anymore.” Cecil’s face however said otherwise. “What?”

“He's still wearing the jacket I let him borrow.”

“You’re not suggesting—”

“But Carlos I really liked that jacket. You bought it for me, after all.”

Carlos had to study his partner’s face to make sure he was actually serious. Sadly, he was.

"I…fine.” Carlos sighed. If finding the child and getting the jacket would make Cecil happy, then he’d find it. But only because he knew Cecil tended to pout for long periods of time when he was upset. “Fine, we’ll look for the kid."

Cecil was up and out the front door before Carlos could finish his sentence. After heaving another sigh, Carlos retrieved his jacket—one he vowed never to lend to strange zombie children—and followed.

**o0o**

“You know this would be easier with a flashlight.”

“I know, but you rushed out and I wasn’t sure if it’d be scared by the light.

The couple had been searching in the woods just outside their house for 20 minutes, and so far had found only an imaginary porcupine and Steve Carlsburg, who upon being discovered stammered something about how he was “most certainly _not_ spying on Cecil and was _definitely_ not dreaming about ways to use Carlos’s hair for trade.” He had then pointed above their heads and shouted something about a distraction before booking it in the opposite direction.

“Maybe we should stop for the night?” Carlos suggested, unsure of whether or not Cecil was as hungry and tired as he was.

“But the jacket…” Cecil wanted to continue, but sensed that Carlos was about ready to quit. “Fine, we’ll look in the morning.”

“Or,” Carlos offered, “I’ll just buy you a new one.”

Cecil smiled, “I’m flattered that you’re so willing to spend money on me.”

“How else am I supposed to keep you content?” Carlos joked, throwing his arm around his partner’s shoulders. The vines and branches they had fought through going into the woods weren’t too keen on a rematch, so they let the two men through without any issue. “Too bad, though. I liked that jack—”

His vision suddenly went black.

“Ack!” he yelled, “Cecil!”

“Carlos, how’d you do that?!” Cecil’s voice sounded excited.

“Go blind you mean?” Carlos replied, voice muffled by a strange object that covered his head. Suddenly it was lifted, and he could see again. Cecil was standing in front of him and holding something in his hand as he grinned from ear to ear. “What?”

 

“My jacket! I don’t know how but you managed to conjure it!” Cecil laughed, “Nice going!”

Carlos’s eyes went wide. Was he really developing powers? Was that good or bad? This could mean anything, especially in a town like Night Vale. Oh no, if this was the beginning of some mutation, he was not interested, no thank you. Carlos quite liked being one of the only legitimate human in Night Vale and—

“Oh, wait, it was the zombie child. He’s floating down from the trees.”

Sure enough, the child landed softly a few seconds later, covered in twigs and leaves and eating the cracker that he'd made disappear. It stared at Carlos with its sunken eyes. 

It was once again their responsibility.

The scientist groaned. “C’mon, let’s get it cleaned up.”

**o0o**

“Well, despite that minor episode I say we’ve been pretty good temporary parents.” Cecil announced happily as he bit into a sandwich. Carlos had been too tired to cook so the two were enjoying turkey on rice bread. To ensure no other incidents, the trouble maker had been tied to one of the poles at the base of the stairs. It was a long rope, however, so the child had shuffled into the kitchen and was currently staring blankly at a spot on the wall just above Carlos’s head.

“Thank god this is only a trial run. Next time we’ll hopefully have a normal child.” Carlos rolled his eyes as Cecil looked at him eagerly. “Oh calm down, we're not going out tomorrow and buying one.”

“But there will be a next time?”

“I’ve got enough on my plate with you, but we’ll see.” Carlos smiled. He believed Cecil would make an excellent father when the time came. But after the night he had just had, Carlos was content to wait a bit longer.

“At least he did something. I would have been a little bored, not to mention creeped out if he had just stared at walls all night.”

Carlos looked at the child. Its gaze hadn’t wavered. “It’s still pretty creepy.”

As if Carlos had said a magic word, the child began to shiver. Just as he had done outside with Cecil.

“Hey, why is it—”

“Oh fuck’s sake, Cecil, it wasn’t even cold in the first place. It’s probably possessed or something!”

“Well it was cold outside, so I just assumed! Besides I’m sure he doesn’t _like_ being possessed.

Carlos sighed. Of course no one _liked_ being possessed, but dammit did it have to do this in the kitchen? He didn’t want to work with any demon food, not after the last time. If Cecil had just made sure it was possessed before giving the child his jacket, their little adventure could have been avoided in the first place.

“Hey, now look!” Cecil exclaimed as the child began to flicker as though he was a light being turned on and off. He had to admit, the child was kind of amusing.

“Well now what are we supposed to do with it?” Carlos was officially exhausted, and in no mood to deal with any more of the zombie child’s weird paranormal voodoo. It wasn't like the thing had come with a manual or anything. 

"I don't know, see what other tricks he does?” 

Before Carlos could respond, there was a grunt followed by a soft plop. The rope that had been holding the child fell empty to the ground. The two men stared at the space, at this point not the least bit surprised. Wordlessly, Carlos got up, put his dish in the sink and went upstairs. He needed to go to bed

Cecil's watched his exhausted partner make his way upstairs, a small smile playing on his lips. He believed Carlos would be a good father when the time came.

But maybe a zombie child wasn't the best choice.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much to whoever reads! I love you and I would definitely make you various baked goods. Baked goods are the ultimate form of thanks.


End file.
